The other day the neighbor child, age 10, announced that he will attend Harvard for a PhD, either in computer science or law. When I queried him a little more, he told me he would have a full scholarship, too! I think he will accomplish that goal. Why? As this child told me, “…because my parents both have PhDs!” His parents enforce study time and summer school. It shows!
What influence did your mom and dad have on your career? Were you encouraged as a child or told you were a loser? What tapes do you play in your head from you childhood? Maybe, with Mother’s Day around the corner, it’s time for introspection about your family’s influence. Maybe we need to rid the cobwebs in our brains from some negative influence or pay attention to the good advice our moms provided. Maybe mom was right when she suggested you be a teacher! She saw you helping others and instructing your younger siblings. And you still love to tell people how to do things!
Were you encouraged to find a “calling” or get a job? In a recent article in the Harvard Business Review, Bill Barnett discusses How to Make Your Job more Meaningful, but he failed to mention how critical our childhood is in our careers. What is the message you received when you wanted to go in the military? What did you mom say when you told her you wanted to be an artist or study graphic arts?
Maybe your work atmosphere is stifling or critical and you should bail. You were allowed maximum creativity growing up. You may want a career change, but simply moving to another corporate culture where innovation is appreciated may solve your dissatisfaction. Career change is far more difficult than changing jobs.
Did someone plant a seed that never grew or overpowered your aspirations? Sometimes we must do menial, unpleasant tasks, yet staying in a hostile work environment will affect your entire family. Loyalty is a virtue you may have learned, but moving to another job may be what is needed. Your role model may have been loyal to a fault. Your current allegiance may not be healthy for you!
When you think about the affect your mom may still hold on your career, common sense requires that you analyze the affect. Take time to reflect. Is your mom proud of you or is it pretense? Are you proud of your accomplishments or sick of what you are doing? Were you raised to think being a workaholic is simply part of life? Or was there balance?
Pause, not just to say thanks to mom, for all her diligence and hard work, but consider the clear and present consequences of your situation. Is it time to let go of some of what she said or take heed? And if she’s still living, maybe you need to take her some flowers, too!
