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If you want to find work soon, pay careful attention to your words.    Your behavior can swiftly sway the interview the wrong way.

1) I don’t want to move.

What you should say:

Although I would prefer to stay in (Dallas), I’d like to hear more about the job.

2) I don’t want to drive that far.

What you should say:

I’d really like to work for your company, but the distance might be a problem.  Let’s see what develops.

If the job is fantastic, you might be able to work from home when they see your work ethics and productivity.  Do not ask to work remote until you know whether the opportunity excites you, as you might be able negotiate flex time during less traffic or work remote several days a week.  Why mention this at all until you discern whether this is your dream job?

3) I can’t start for another six months.

What you should say:

I’m on a project which I truly enjoy, but it won’t end for six months.  Please tell me more about your opening as it would be difficult to leave in the middle of this commitment.

Sometimes loyalty interferes with good judgment.  Is your company stable?  Companies base their layoffs on business situations, not personalities.  If the opportunity tantalizes you, take the time to explore it.  You’ll learn about the company and its culture in the process.  Companies ordinarily won’t wait more than six weeks for any candidate, unless they are looking for a new grad in the next semester.

4)  I’m not sure I have the background for this job.

What you should say:

Let’s talk more about the job requirements and duties before we move forward.

Don’t squelch the opportunity before you hear the details.  Time is money.  Take adequate time to explore the requirements.  Perhaps another job opening in the company would fit you better.  Or maybe they see your potential better than you do!

5)  I never share my last/current salary on the first contact.

Many, many recruiters will move quickly to the next candidate, if you won’t share your salary.   Not sharing your salary is irresponsible.  Outplacement consultants teach you to provide a salary range but recruiters need the specifics.  I could write an entire article about this topic.

6)  I can’t talk right now; my child needs to go to soccer practice.

What you should say:

I need to contact you at a better time.  May I call you in about an hour or tomorrow at 10:00 a.m.?

Be specific.  Better yet, take the call and be late to soccer.  Do you want a new job or not?  Perhaps the screaming child could wait in the next room with the door closed briefly.  Reaching a recruiter is often very challenging.

7) I can only work 20 hours per week.

What you should say:

Let’s talk about the job duties and responsibilities.  My experience would be an excellent match.  I was really looking for part time but maybe this is an opportunity which could work for us.

8)  I don’t have my references ready.

What you should say:

I haven’t reached one of my critical references yet, as he’s out of town.  I’ll send you the two confirmed references.

Complete your reference list at the very beginning of your search.  Notify your references each time they will be called.  Be sure your references know what the job is so they can concentrate on relevant information about you.

9) I can only work from home.

What you should say:

I’d like to hear more about the job.  Since we live in an electronic age, I’m hoping to find work, where I can affect the bottom line, while working from my home office after we become better acquainted.

Not many companies hire virtual employees before on site training.  Be flexible.

10)  I can’t talk right now; I’m watching the Cowboys play.

What you should say:

I’m very sorry I can’t talk at the moment.  I’d like to return your call at 4:00 p.m.

Maybe you need to see if the Cowboys have any job openings.  They seem to need a bit of new talent.  You are not a serious job seeker unless it’s the World Series in the last of the 9^th inning, in which case the recruiter should not have called.

Other show stoppers:

• Talking too much, rambling, giving too much detail.
• Talking too much about dress code, time off, stock option, sports, etc.
• Not being specific enough or not providing enough detail.
• Hygiene and attire: you’d think everyone would look good and smell clean.
• Answering your cell phone during an interview; turn it OFF!  Or leave it in the car.
• Trying to negotiate higher salary too soon, if at all; the economy is not robust yet.
• Responding without enough research.
• Criticizing former managers and co-workers.
• Overly friendly; too much personal information.
• Late to the interview.

Summary

Be prepared.  Do your research about the company and its people.  Show enthusiasm.  Be sure to know what the next step is in the process.  Ask good questions (but not too many).  It’s a little like playing ball or getting married.  You just never know what curve ball may be thrown at you but adequate preparation and awareness of each of these items will help you score a touchdown or find a new business family.

Ruth Glover owns Career Consultations, an engineering recruiting agency in the Dallas area.  She is the author of MORE than a Paycheck: Inspiration and Tools for Career Change. She can be reached at careers@hotcareers.com.

Anxiety is part of job search.  The monotony of trying to manage the sheer idiocy of applying online through difficult applicant tracking systems, the lack of response when you had a good interview, not being able to reach the recruiter…all are significant reasons for stress in your life while you look for a new job.

Problem: Loss of Control

“I can’t do this any more.  I’ve been out of work so long.  My MBA and EE degrees don’t help.  I attend many networking events and send out resumes.  What is wrong with me?  I am so de-moralized.”

Problem: Shame/Embarrassment

I don’t want to go to the upcoming family Thanksgiving dinner.  My brother-in-law is a lawyer who never looked for a job and he doesn’t understand.  We can’t afford the travel and expense for food contribution they expect.  I would rather stay home, but the family really wants to go.

I attend a faith based unemployment group where others seem to be getting jobs and return home completely deflated.

Emotions run rampant during your job search.  You cannot eradicate the emotions entirely, but pessimism can ruin your efforts.  Here are simple survival techniques to assist you.

Exercise

• Take a walk
• Go to the gym
• Quick no cost exercises at home, like crunches
• Coach or participate in a team sport
• Yoga
• Chair exercises

Relaxation techniques

• Write affirmations on “post-it”  notes, putting them in visible locations (on your computer, on the dashboard, on the bathroom mirror) to remind you to breath deeply
• Listen to music periodically
• Turn off the music and brainstorm creative solutions; write them down
• Visualization: go to the beach in your head for a few minutes or picture  your new office
• Get enough sleep
• Don’t exercise before bedtime
• Pray

Volunteer work

• Offer to help someone with a project, demonstrating your talent
• Volunteer to do a pro-bono project for a favorite charity
• Become a foster home for the Humane Society
• Serve food at a local homeless shelter

Rewards

• Take a walk after making five superior job contacts
• Go to a cheap movie
• Talk with an old friend
• Clean a closet or drawer
• Write an email to someone you haven’t seen for awhile
• Post a motivational or humorous slogan

Time management

• Choose a “career partner” who can be objective (not a family member) whom you will call daily at a specific time to report your  job activity
• Maintain a record of how you spend your time
• Make a daily/weekly/monthly list of things to accomplish.

These suggestions are simplistic but they work.  You can Google “depression job search” and you’ll find six million articles to assist you with more sophisticated ideas to help.  If you are immobilized for more than three weeks, you may need to see your doctor as you don’t want to spiral downward any longer.  You may have a health issue.

The bottom line:

If what you are doing is not working, try new methods.  People like helping others.  Don’t hesitate to ask for suggestions and help.  This is not a good time to feel shame or lack of confidence, but to take control of the roller coaster in new ways.  Maybe your brother-in-law will have a good contact for you on Thanksgiving!

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